Monday 2nd July 2018
Morning Vibes With Dr. Jerry - the First
Hello and welcome to
#MorningVibesWithDrJerryTheFirst-Episode 291
Title: When A State Of Hopelessness Stares You In The Face -
Do This
In our self-centred world
of today, a lot of people are helpless and even hopeless.
A lot of the readers who
email me are struggling with depression or feel a lack of hope.
They don’t have any clear
vision of a future for themselves.
So, why do you think we’re
so hopeless?
The answer lies somewhere
in between the things we do and the way and manner we spend our time
A lot of those who are
employed, struggle to go to work in the morning, go back home in the evening
and then just slump on the sofa and start watching TV and all those make
believe reality shows. It's sad because it is escapism - they want to lose
themselves in the television program, they don't want to face the reality of
their lives and situations
It’s also the root of
information overload and attention obesity.
We’re choking on the
stories we hear from the news and our circles. It’s hard to turn it off.
But there’s a way to
combat this. (Not just the information overload, but the general feeling of
hopelessness and meaningless that comes with it, too.)
So, What’s a good way to
increase hope?
Here’s my take on Hope vs.
Hopelessness and the root causes of loneliness, suffering, meaninglessness,
etc.:
PROBLEM NUMBER 1: Life gets mundane
You are running around in
a circle, making so much motion but no movement; nothing is working for you,
whatever you lay your hands on to do collapse like a pack of cards
SOLUTION: Get a skill
If you are a jack of all
trades and master of none, then get a skill, be a specialist at something no
matter what it is so long as it is legitimate and legal.
If you are working and
your loop is the triage of work, home, TV, you need to get a life by getting a
skill. Develop a skill
This ties into positive
psychology. The feeling of progress and improvement play a role in our daily
sense of joy.
I always tell people to do
two things to find “purpose” or love or a place to start over:
Go to a bookstore and find
a section where you’d want to read every book in the genre.
Look at what you loved at
10 years old and see how it’s grown for you. Are there ways you can pick this
love back up in your adult life?
PROBLEM NUMBER 2: Awareness
Are you craving attention,
are you taking in every single news item and message emanating from your
environment?
SOLUTION: Experiment with an “attention diet”
The world has always been
incredibly complex—way more complex than any single person can understand. But
I think our awareness of the complexity is harming us psychologically,
Read my posts on The
Things That People Should Care Less About. They are great posts. Because they
get you into the mindset of wondering ‘What should I care about less?’
That’s why I started my
attention diet years ago.
Here’s an exercise.
Practice not paying
attention to a certain thing and replacing it with something you value more.
For example: Trump or
push-ups? Trump or a new book?
Another solution is for
you to just look locally. “People consistently underestimate the importance of
their local politics and how much influence they have,”
I practice hyper-localism.
I want to know who can I help right now who’s right in front of me. Maybe it’s
you
PROBLEM NUMBER 3: We’re afraid of missing out, or
we’re afraid we’re not doing enough
SOLUTION: Find out what you want to say “yes” to
and what you want to say “no” to
You don’t have to start
changing your behavior yet.
You just have to start by
knowing what you like and don’t like. You have to come up with a formula for
how much time something will take and what it's worth.
“It's hard because part of
that skill is having an accurate perception of the value of your own time,”
“Some people have trouble
saying ‘yes,’ some people have trouble saying ‘no.’”
So I came up with a chart.
It looks like an upside
down smile
On the left hand side is
“yes.” On the right hand side is “no.”
In this chart, “yes” is
equal to zero. Because nobody’s asking you do things. But then you start
getting offers. And opportunities.
Let’s say you started a
blog or a YouTube channel and now people want to talk to you. At first, you
start to say “yes.”
When I first started
writing, I’d write for any site that asked. I went on every podcast. I would
speak at any conference.
But then I got to a point
where the “yes’s” start to turn into “no’s”.
And that might sound
crazy. But it’s the principle of scarcity.
When time is scarce, you
have to say “no” more times than “yes.”
But if you’re depressed
and you want to live and you want to feel connection, then “yes” has to win.
Until you can start to say “no” again
Hope and hopelessness
fluctuate.
Your mind is a machine. What you feed it, it becomes.
These steps are all
important.
But I think the most important one I learned is to
have a vision of the future.
That’s what hope is.
And progress is perfect.
Until I come your way
again, this is #MorningVibesWithDrJerryTheFirst
Keep it coming!!!
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