Morning Vibes With Dr Jerry - The First-Episode 148/Overcome The Fear Of Success

Thursday                       8th February 2018

Morning Vibes With Dr. Jerry - the First

Hello and welcome to #MorningVibesWithDrJerryTheFirst-Episode 148

Title:          If You Have To Choose Yourself First This Year, These Are The 8 Things To Throw Overboard - Overcome The Fear Of Success

In continuation of our discussion on the habits to drop like a piece of hot charcoal if you have to choose yourself first this 2018.

Yesterday we took a look at Overcome The Fear Of Failure and discussed in details what it is and how it can be overcome in order to take the lead on.

Today we are taking a look at         Overcome The Fear Of Success

Fear Of Success or Achievemephobia

While the fear of success phobia (Achievemephobia) may seem weird to many; it is actually a very real social phobia.

It can make things difficult for the phobic: from getting hired, messing up one’s relationships to making him/her a prisoner in this situation.

The fear of success phobia is very much like the fear of failure: both prevent the sufferer from dreaming and achieving his goals.

It might seem weird to fear success; after all what can be more appealing in life than it?

However, a little bit of digging in the phobic’s mind shows that fearing success is natural to him, simply because he is not looking for any change.

He is so comfortable in his current situation that he wants to continue to live the life despite hating it.

Often, the individual might be afraid of success owing to the fear of inability to handle fame or wealth it brings.

It might surprise you to note that Many CEOs and presidents of banks have been known to have Achievemephobia.

Causes of Achievemephobia

As stated above, several phobias can be linked with the fear of success phobia-

it is closely related to fear of failure.

One’s success is naturally bound to be displeasing to others around him.

Success has mixed results: it can bring fame and money but it comes at a cost such as envy, jealousy, hurt, notoriety, limelight etc.

This knowledge can cause deep fear in the minds of the Achievemephobics.

Other reasons include:

Fearing getting what one wants and being unable to handle achieving this.

The dread or deep fear of success is usually deep rooted. A person may be exceptionally talented yet s/he may have a long list of underachievement.

This becomes a vicious circle in that; s/he refuses to set goals.

Shy, introverted people or people who do not like limelight might suffer from Achievemephobia.

Getting ahead of friends, colleagues, and close family members can be intimidating and threatening: one might fear breaking ties with these people.

Parents unknowingly instill such fear in their children’s minds.

Comments like: “Do not study so hard, you will tire yourself” or “Even if you do not get the first place, we will still love you” etc can also deter a child from setting goals.

One fears feeling that losing the parents’ love and hence deliberately fails in order to get it.

The fear of success phobia often stems from guilt or self doubt. Success comes with responsibilities which can lead to fear.

A child who has always listened to comments like “You will not succeed” might carry the belief well into adulthood, undermining everything s/he does.

Symptoms of fear of success phobia

Fear of failure and fear of success phobia are often related and have the same anxiety symptoms.

Achievemephobia is an unconscious phobia: often an individual is unaware that he has it.

People suffering from Achievemephobia are not able to handle success: they might go on a spate of self destructive behavior: drinking, drugs, sex etc and end up losing all that they have achieved.

Many refuse to set goals in the first place.

Often after getting success in a business, one closes it down or does something that is incompatible with one’s character or against one’s good sense.

The need to escape self awareness can lead the phobic to drug use or alcoholism or even drive one to suicide in extreme cases.

Herr are 8 reasons to show that it is the fear of success that is holding you down

1. You’re Afraid of the Unknown

Right now your life is predictable. You are in an established rhythm that you can follow without any great thought. Your job doesn’t stretch you, your finances are relatively secure, your free time is taken up by the same old routine each week, and your relationships are stable.

To succeed, you would have to rip up this script and replace it with all sorts of unknown quantities: new people, new places, new lifestyle, new activities.

Upon realizing your goal, things might change yet again as your new, successful self faces fresh choices and obstacles.

The unknown is scary, so rather than give it a chance to permeate through your life, you simply put the blinkers on and pretend everything’s fine.

2. You’re Afraid of the Demands Success Might Make of You

One of the biggest unknowns is the potential new demands that success might force upon you.

Your successful self might suddenly find that they have little to no leisure time left because you have to spend more of your day working, training, learning, or reacting to situations you now find yourself in.

Or your achievements might mean you have to deal with invasions of privacy, requests for help or money, and pressure to maintain the highs you have reached.

You think these things will weigh you down, so rather than let that happen, you limit your progress.

3. You’re Afraid of the Responsibility Success Might Bring

You’ve done well… very well, and now you’re accountable for so much more than you ever were before.

Maybe you’ve got employees to think about, even shareholders to please, or other commitments that you can’t get out of.

Did you win a scholarship to a prestigious university, get selected for a sports team you tried out for, or make your family proud in some other way?

That’s a lot to have to think about each time you make a decision.

What if it’s the wrong one?

What if you let people down?

What if everything comes crashing down around you?

Rather than face up to the burden of this responsibility, you decide to stay put where you are.

4. You’re Afraid of the Attention Success Could Attract

Whether it’s chatter among your peers, local media coverage, or international stardom, being successful may sometimes shine a spotlight upon you.

Strangers might try to talk to you, your face might find its way into magazines, and your personal choices might be poured over and scrutinized by anyone with a Twitter account.

And it’s not all going to be positive. Success has a habit of making you a target for attacks; envy can be a cruel emotion that drives people to say and do unpleasant things, and most of the time you won’t be around to defend yourself.

You don’t want to be the center of attention.

Not one bit.

So instead of pursuing the things that you are passionate about, you hold back and avoid the limelight.

5. You’re Afraid of Losing Your Identity

You know who you are right now. Well… mostly. You are well acquainted with your thoughts, feelings, and desires.

You are comfortable in your own skin and others are comfortable with it too.

Success means change and you’re afraid that this includes your identity.

You worry that you might start behaving differently – you might let success get to your head, you might take things (and people) for granted, you might lose touch with your roots. You may even alienate your loved ones.

The thought of becoming a different person scares the living daylights out of you, so you just maintain the status quo and pass up opportunities that come your way.

6. You’re Afraid Success Won’t Bring You Happiness

We all want to be happy in our lives. Perhaps you are right now, or relatively so.

In your mind, success should bring even greater joy into your life… but what if it doesn’t?

What if, after striving so hard to achieve great things, you are no happier than you are now?

Or worse, you are less happy.

Is it worth taking the risk if you aren’t rewarded with greater enjoyment in your life?

Are the hours and weeks and years of dedication going to pay off in the end?

Rather than ask the question, you stay silent and put your dreams on the perpetual back burner to avoid the chance of being disappointed.

7. You’re Afraid of Losing Those You Care About

That identity of yours we spoke about earlier; it’s not just relevant to you. Your friends, family, colleagues, and casual acquaintances all respond to you based upon that identity. If that changes – perhaps not in your eyes, but in theirs – will they act differently around you?

What will happen to your relationships if you attain a level of success?

Might you suddenly become unrelatable or unapproachable in their eyes?

Will conversations feel forced? Will the feeling of comfort you currently enjoy with them be replaced by one of awkwardness?

Not worth the risk, right?

8. You’re Afraid You Might Get Carried Away with Success

Perhaps none of the things above scare you. Perhaps the thing you fear most is that upon achieving success, it won’t be enough for you; that you’ll become obsessed with ever greater achievements and ever more challenging goals.

You’re afraid that success will take over your life and become the be all and end all of your existence.

Sure, it happens.

The emotional high of succeeding at something gets followed by the low of wondering what comes next.

Will you be happy with what you have done so far, or will you have to constantly look for the next challenge, the next big thing?

Heck, if that’s what success is going to do to you, you don’t want it.

You’ll just sit on your hands and keep that potential of yours hidden.

Here’s the thing about these eight components to your fear of success: they’re only one side of the story.

Yes, they are part of the vast range of possibilities, but not all of them will come true. In fact, the opposite could also be true in many cases.

You may find yourself with more leisure time, you may enjoy the responsibility, you may embrace the attention, you may find your true self, you may experience so much more happiness, and you may strengthen your relationships or forge new ones.

When you fear success, you only focus on the cons and not the pros. Every “what if” question ends in a negative.

You’re blinded to the wonderful things that may come about if you pursue a dream or goal.

It doesn’t matter if yours is a goal involving your career, health, finances, a sporting activity, a lifestyle you wish to lead, or something else entirely, if all you ever do is consider the negative consequences of succeeding, you will remain forever afraid to take a leap of faith.

So instead of being afraid of what success may lead to, be excited by it.

Consider the good and great things that could be waiting for you if you but dive in head first to turning your dreams into reality.

As author and spiritual thinker Marianne Williamson reminds us,

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”

If you suspect you might fear your  own potential for achievement, these are some of the signs to watch out for:

-        You feel guilty about successes and worry about those around you who haven't experienced the same success.

-        You neglect to share your accomplishments with others.

-        You feel you aren't really deserving of success.

-        You procrastinate on projects that have the potential of bringing you recognition.

-        You compromise yourself, your ideas, or your goals in order not to offend or undermine others.

-        You believe success is temporary, and you won't be able to sustain it.

It is true success can have negative repercussions. People might perceive you differently or even dislike you because you're successful.

You might have to work harder to maintain your level of achievement.

You will experience internal and external changes as a result of success.

However, the consequences of holding yourself back from success are far more profound and painful. You will experience a loss of self-respect and integrity.

You'll likely feel resentment and anger toward those who impact your decision to hold back. And you might even jeopardize your professional and financial future.

You don't have to accept your fear of success and live a compromised life.

With a few mind shifts, you can learn to embrace your greatness and pursue accomplishments without guilt, shame, or discomfort.

Overcoming Achievemephobia

Fear is natural. To overcome the fear of success phobia, one must first accept it; even consider the fear a gift.

Writing down one’s thoughts and changing negative into positive ones can be a great self-help technique while dealing with this phobia.

Positive visualizations, meditation and deep breathing upon facing an anxiety attack related to thoughts s associated with success are other self help remedies.

Hypnotherapy is another effective way of dealing with this phobia.

It can help dig deeper into the mind of the phobic to pull out the imagination associated between success and failure.

Here are 10 Highly effective ways to overcome the fear of success  or Achievemephobia

1. Reclaim authenticity.

If you desire success and have the potential for it, then choosing to avoid it is a choice to be someone you are not.

Recognize that you can't be happy and fulfilled by compromising your values, goals, or integrity.

2. Accept discomfort.

All change, even change for the better, involves some level of discomfort and uncertainty.

We fear this discomfort will be unbearable or worse than it actually is.

By accepting the inevitability of discomfort, you minimize the effects of it.

And the joys of success often make the discomfort far more bearable.

3. Release “shoulds.”

One of the success traps is the belief we should be someone or do something because others around us (or society) tell us so.

This goes back to being authentic and living within our integrity. Accept and embrace that you know best what is right for you.

4. Enjoy challenge.

We often fear challenges because we think we'll fail or anticipate hard work or drudgery. However, challenges can be positive and enjoyable.

They stretch us, keep us focused, and put us in the state of flow where our minds are so engaged we lose track of time.

Shift your thoughts about challenges to see them as positive rather than negative.

5. Reframe failure.

The fear of success is often a disguise for the fear of failure. To attempt success, you put yourself at risk of falling on your face.

However, if you view failure as a stepping stone to success, then there's nothing to fear. Failure is evidence you've taken action and attempted a challenge.

It also provides opportunity for learning and growing, providing information you can use for your next success.

6. Don't think, just act.

You might be sabotaging your success unconsciously. But on the other hand, you could be overthinking it.

Overthinking leads to confusion, “paralysis of analysis,” and unnecessary procrastination.

Yes you do have to think to analyze decisions and choose your best actions, but set a thinking deadline after which you must take action.

Don't allow rumination to continue indefinitely.

7. Find your tribe.

Align yourself with people who aren't afraid of success and who joyfully go after it, knowing they are fully deserving of everything success provides them.

The quality of people you surround yourself with influences your own state of mind and outlook. Allow the “success mindset” to rub off on you.

Whatever you do, minimize your time with people who try to hold you back or who see life through a negative lens.

8. Celebrate every milestone.

Rather than diminishing your abilities and achievements, celebrate them.

Sharing your successful milestones and giving yourself a pat of the back isn't a bad thing. It's a motivator and an acknowledgment of your hard work and tenacity.

The people who want the best for you will celebrate with you.

9. Have a vision.

When you create a vision for the life you want and set goals to make that vision a reality, you have something specific to work toward.

In this way, you can see every success along the way as a stepping stone to realizing your vision. You have a passion for what you are doing, and nothing will hold you back.

Even if success feels uncomfortable to you, knowing your successes are part of a bigger plan can help minimize your discomfort.

10. Enjoy the journey.

Big successful benchmarks happen a few times a year, or maybe a few times a decade. They arrive and depart quickly.

Although it feels great to reach those benchmarks, the real, lasting fun is in the journey.

Take the pressure off of yourself related to success. Try to view every day as an opportunity for small wins and amazing experiences.

Savor the process as much as the potential outcomes. When you focus your time and energy on the present moment, you don't worry about future success so much.

The choice to succeed or to hold yourself back from success both have consequences.

By holding yourself back, you diminish your true self and allow fear to control your life.

When you claim success, you're creating your life on your own terms and sending the message to those around you that you won't compromise who you are or the passionate life you desire.

Begin to change your thoughts about success and your reaction to it, and you'll find the courage and enthusiasm to embrace the amazing person you are meant to be.

Until I come your way again, this is #MorningVibesWithDrJerryTheFirst

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