Morning Vibes With Dr. Jerry - the First - Episode 185/Do One Thing To Change Your Chronic Unhappiness State

Saturday                        17th March 2018

Morning Vibes With Dr. Jerry - the First

Hello and welcome to #MorningVibesWithDrJerryTheFirst-Episode 185

Title:          Are You Chronically Unhappy? Do This One Thing For Yourself

There's no gain saying the fact that life can sometimes be very hard.  There's no escaping that reality. 

It’s impossible to live well without encountering some level of struggle, and there are some seasons in our lives that are especially heartbreaking.

I know a couple who over the course of 15 months suffered what could break anyone,  It was a period of profound loss for them, first they both lost their jobs at the same time and also lost their house due to escalating mortgage, it was a financially scary and  uncertain time for them. 

They became chronic worriers and extremely unhappy.

Then, just as they were learning to navigate their new reality, they were hit with a devastating loss: the sudden death of their mentor  from cardiac arrest.  The loss of such a key figure in their lives was intense!  They were absolutely devastated and knocked down to what seemed like the lowest of lows for weeks on end.  And just as they were beginning to get back on their feet, one of their older brothers committed suicide.

With so much loss in quick succession, there were days when all they could accomplish was just getting out of bed and wandering in the house with moronic eyes.

It was a great struggle, but as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, and the months into years, they learned to press forward.  They learned that they had no other choice but to live their own lives and to develop the strength of mind, the resilience to do that. 

And the one thing that helped them tide over those gloomy years was the vital lesson they learned about self love and self care ― the magic that makes smiling again (and again) possible.

The truth is, everyone experiences unhappy circumstances on occasion, but there is a big difference between experiencing bouts of unhappiness and living a habitually unhappy life. 

That’s what chronically unhappy people do.  And although many of these people are afraid to admit it, a vast majority of their unhappiness stems from their own perpetual self-neglect.

In studies that have been carried out over time, it has been found out that of all the negative behaviours holding back chronically unhappy people, self neglect is at the very top of the list

And even if you are generally a happy person, self-neglect is something that can easily creep up on you.

The key is to give yourself the extra attention you need and deserve.

Resisting and ignoring your own feelings and emotions does not serve you.  It leads to stress, illness, confusion, broken relationships, fits of anger and bouts of deep, dark depression. 

Anyone who has experienced any of the above knows that these states of mind are horrifically unhealthy… and when you’re in the habit of self-neglect, it’s near impossible to escape.

If you have been unhappy over a long period of time, it is time for you to admit, to a certain extent, that you have spent too much of your life trying to shrink yourself. 

Trying to become smaller.  Quieter.  Less sensitive.  Less opinionated.  Less needy.  Less YOU.  Because you felt broken, and you didn’t want to be too much or push people away.  You wanted to fit in.  You wanted people to like you.  You wanted to make a good impression.  You wanted to be wanted.  So you could feel healed.

So for years, you sacrificed yourself for the sake of making other people happy.  And for years, you suffered.

But you’re tired of suffering, and you’re done shrinking.  Right?  Good!

It’s not your job to change who you are in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being. 

You are worthwhile.  Not because other people think you are, but because you are breathing your own air, and therefore you matter.  Your thoughts matter.  Your feelings matter.  Your voice matters. 

And with or without anyone’s approval or permission, you must be who you are and live your truth.  Even if it makes people turn their heads.  Even if it makes them uncomfortable.  Even if they choose to leave.

You may have been broken down by adversity, but YOU are not broken.  So don’t let others convince you otherwise.

Heal yourself by refusing to shrink.

Choose to take up a lot of space in your own life. 

Choose to give yourself permission to meet your own needs.  Choose to honor your feelings and emotions. 

Choose to make self-care a top priority…

Choose yourself!

And of course, if you're struggling with any of this, know that you are not alone. 

Many of us are right there with you, working hard to feel better, think more clearly, and get our lives back on track.

Until I come your way again, this is #MorningVibesWithDrJerryTheFirst

Keep it coming!!!

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