Thursday 26th April 2018
Morning Vibes With Dr. Jerry - the First
Hello and welcome to
#MorningVibesWithDrJerryTheFirst-Episode 225
Title: What's
Holding You Back?
I know, I know and I know
you know too.
There are things you want
to do - barriers you want to break, mountains you want to conquer, negative
relationships you want to drop, negative friends you want to do away with, that
career hurdle you want to jump over - in short things you want to achieve, give
up, improve upon, triumph over, resolve, e.t.c. but and that's a BIG BUT, each
time you think of doing it, your mind skips a beat and you shift it to another
time, another day, still waiting in the wings, still procrastinating, still
postponing the evil day that must surely come, still waiting to take that
decision that must surely be taken if you have to make progress in life.
Well, today I have asked
you that question - What is holding you back?
And just in case you don't
have a ready answer to it, let me then walk you through an exercise devised by Harvard
University's Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey which they use to help people identify
their roadblocks—and blast through them.
It's a very short mental
exercise but very powerful
1. Choose the Right Goal
(a) Kegan and Lahey say that our goals are
often disguised as chronic complaints—basically, your biggest gripes contain
information about what you most want. Start by thinking about what's bothered
you this past year (you're really stressed at work; you feel uncomfortable in
your clothes).
(b) Now think about how you might turn that
general dissatisfaction into a specific goal, as in "I want to delegate
more at the office" or "I want to lose weight to have more energy and
to look better."
2. Acknowledge Your Part of the Problem
Think of what you do that works against this
goal. Ask yourself: What am I doing (or not doing)
to undermine my progress? Be as
honest and precise as possible—and avoid self-flagellation.
3. Discover Your Competing Commitments
(a) Ask yourself: What fears come up when I think of doing the opposite of what I
noted for question 2? For instance,
someone whose goal is to lose weight and who knows her obstacle is that she
blows off portion sizes might realize that what she's most worried about is
turning into a calorie-counting control freak.
(b) Consider how your current behavior reflects
what you fear most from happening. Kegan and Lahey say that competing
commitments are often rooted in secret anxieties—in this case, "I don't
want to become totally neurotic." Can you explain how you've used
competing commitments to manage your life or emotions?
4. Identify Your Underlying Assumptions
(a) Start by looking at your secret fears. These
are driven by assumptions you've made (e.g., anyone who monitors portions must be controlling).
To
unearth your hidden beliefs, answer the following questions: What have you
convinced yourself will happen if you overcome your bad habit? Is this
true?
(b) Identifying the thoughts that sustain our
immunity to change is important, but insight alone will not result in lasting
change.
Most of
us operate as if our assumptions are facts. Think of ways that you can test
whether your beliefs are true, starting with smaller experiments ("I will
delegate one task") and moving on to more significant examples ("I
will take a week off and not check in with the office").
Until I come your way
again, this is #MorningVibesWithDrJerryTheFirst
Keep it coming!!!
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PS:
This Program is powered by Topitup Media & Communication Nigeria.
This Program is powered by Topitup Media & Communication Nigeria.
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rights Reserved (c) 2018
Adapted From: Oprah
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