Morning Vibes With Dr. Jerry - the First - Episode 277/6 Things People should Care Less About - Saving The Children

Monday                         18th June 2018

Morning Vibes With Dr. Jerry - the First

Hello and welcome to #MorningVibesWithDrJerryTheFirst-Episode 277

Title:          6 Things People should Care Less About - Saving The Children

2. SAVING THE CHILDREN

The State of Utah recently passed a law stating that children are allowed to play outside alone as well as walk or bike to school without parental supervision.

It is the first law in the US of its kind. And the fact that it’s even needed in the first place kind of freaks me out.

“Protecting” kids has become the most paramount goal for many parents — protecting them from bad grades, protecting them from playgrounds, protecting them from being outside alone, protecting them from being criticized by anyone, protecting them from having to wake themselves up in the morning.

This has popularly become known as "Helicopter Parenting" And as with most shitty things today, it’s largely the Baby Boomers’ fault.

Boomers grew up thinking they were the center of the world.

This wasn’t entirely their fault. Television and radio blossomed during their adolescence. And considering they were, by far, the largest demographic age group, pretty much all of popular culture (music, film, etc.) catered to their tastes. By the late 60s, politics caved to their numbers as well and hasn’t let up since.

Then something happened in the 80s.

Boomers had kids. And because everything in the Boomers’ lives is the most important thing in the universe, the Boomers’ children (the Millennials) now, by the transitive property of narcissistic dumbfucks, became The Most Important Thing in the Universe.

Boomers approached parenting the same way they approached almost everything else: with the intention to do it better than it had ever been done before and yet, somehow, producing a worse result.

Boomers decided that their kids needed self-esteem.

They needed to be well-rounded and busy.

They needed to be lobbied for at school.

They needed to be protected from predators and evil teachers and creepy ministers and, and, and…

This child obsession created an environment where the child could never be wrong — it was the teachers and the school curricula and the media that were wrong. “My little Timmy isn’t an asshole,” Boomer parents would say, “It’s those violent video games he plays that make him that way!”

And instead of punishing Timmy for being a dick (that would be “child abuse”), the self-righteous Boomer parent would write angry letters to video game companies, PTA presidents, congressmen, teachers, and of course, other self-righteous Boomer parents.

The popular culture immediately adapted to this child obsession the same way it adapted to all Boomer obsessions. It created cheesy songs like this:

It also generated obnoxious bumper stickers talking about how great their kids were.

It had politicians suddenly talking as if every policy they proposed was designed for children. It started producing children’s movies and shows out the ass.

But the most important side effect of the Boomers’ sanctimonious approach to parenting was that it turned parenting into a status symbol.

For previous generations, parenting was just a thing you did. It was an obligation. For Boomers, they were going to be the best goddamn parents this world had ever seen and everybody was going to know it.

Their kid was going to go to all the summer camps.

Their little Susie was going to apply to all the colleges.

Their little Joey would have all the best toys.

Parenting became another form of the rat race, where the more you micromanaged your kid, the more virtuous you were.

Jump ahead a decade or two and you have good, responsible parents being arrested or investigated for letting their kid play outside by themselves.

You have police showing up to confiscate kids who are playing alone.

You have mothers being criticized as "the world's worst mother" because she let her 9-year-old son ride the subway.

And who caused these things to happen?

Other parents.

Other parents who couldn’t stand the anxiety of leaving their own little special snowflake child playing at the park for an hour, so goddamnit, what other horrible mother could ever consider such a thing?

What these parents don’t understand, and what the research shows, is that over-protecting your child is just as damaging as neglecting your child 

Children need to fail. That’s how they learn.

They need to be hurt by others because that’s how they learn to manage their relationships.

They need to be allowed to explore and try things on their own because that’s how they discover who they are and build a strong identity.

When they are coddled and over-protected and micromanaged, they develop none of these skills.

They don’t learn how to cope with adversity or failure.

They don’t learn how to manage their relationships.

 And they don’t figure out who they are.

In fact, their identity remains enmeshed with the parent.

Their sole value in the world is assumed to be “Mommy/Daddy’s little angel,” — i.e., the most important thing in the universe without actually having done anything — i.e., entitled little babies even when they are grown ups — i.e., exactly like their Boomer parents.

Last note, before I go: I think this is why Millennials  get shat on so much these days.

Because Boomers

a) can’t stand that the Millennials grew up to be just like them (entitled and narcissistic),

and b) because Boomers ultimately want to avoid the fact that they fucked it all up.

So let the kids be.

Let them fall and hurt themselves.

Let them get dumped and picked on.

Let them suffer through a shitty teacher or two.

 It’s probably better for them.

Until I come your way again, this is #MorningVibesWithDrJerryTheFirst

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Written By Mark Manson

Source:     Mark Manson