Saturday 10th March 2018
Morning Vibes With Dr. Jerry - the First
Hello and welcome to
#MorningVibesWithDrJerryTheFirst-Episode 178
Title: Do You Consistently Lack Confidence? Identify The
Signs And Deal With Them!
Confidence is a belief in one’s
abilities and sense of competence.
A self confident man will
always stand out in any crowd however, there are times when we are buffeted by
the vicissitudes of life that we exhibit lack
of confidence or experience low confidence.
We need to be conscious of such
times and while trying to place our fingers on the root cause of such lack of
confidence or low confidence, we need to be aware of the actions associated
with a low confidence as they are quite subtle and can be easily skipped over.
Be critical, very critical
about the situation and when you notice any of these 5 subtle things in your
character or mannerism, then know it's time to work your self confidence back
1. You Begin
Settling
Suddenly you are attacked by
self deprecating thoughts, they tell you that you have it good enough in life,
that you are not the only in life, that you have done better than 90% of your
mates and so there is no reason to struggle anymore, you should just give up
and sit by and allow others to have their own successes.
These thoughts make you get
accustomed to settling for less because you think you don’t deserve any better
again.
Even though Jim Collins' quote
"good is the enemy of great" was focused on companies, but that can
also apply to your life, your job and your relationship.
You got a job that you kind of
hate. The job itself is okay but the boss is horrible and promotion/growth is
not possible, but the salary is okay and the job is “just good.”
When you lack confidence in
your ability, you settle down.
There are always other
opportunities out there, so push forward.
The only thing worse than this
is if the situation becomes permanent.
Evaluate your life now and
figure out where you are just floating by in.
Believe in your ability to do
better and take the risk.
Learn new stuff and improve
your life.
2. You Avoid
Exposure
You think your ideas are not
good or that your personality is not good enough.
This is only fueled by your
lack of confidence.
You stand near the walls at a
party to feel protected. The center of attention and the room is 2 meters away,
but in your head, it’s a million miles.
Exposing yourself means showing
other people who you are.
To do that, we need to accept
and love who we were. If we can’t, who else can?
For you to accept yourself
continuously, do an exercise called “The Wheel of Change.”
The exercise has 4 simple
questions you need to answer for yourself giving you the building block of your
confidence.
What do I eliminate from my
life?
What do I create in my life?
What do I accept in my life?
What do I preserve in my life?
“With confidence, you have won
before you have started.” – Marcus Garvey
3. You Use
Distractions Instead Of Solutions
The difference here is the
belief.
Zorro played by Antonio
Banderas, couldn’t defeat his arch-enemy, Captain Harrison Love, because he
just didn’t have the skills or knowledge at the time to do it.
Due to this, he started
drinking.
The drinking led him to despair
and he almost gave up, yet a mentor played by Anthony Hopkins taught Zorro how
to gain his confidence back and take out his enemies.
The main thing was to master
things in “The Zorro Circle.”
That circle is small, but it’s
a place where you have full control. When you master that circle, you expand
it.
The same things happen with
your confidence.
You indulge in
distractions, get overwhelmed and then quit
Nonetheless, the main
thing here is to do small things which are in your control.
Use solutions instead of
distractions and at some point, you will be able to solve problems which were
out of your control when you started.
Don’t fall into the trap of
rationalization, explaining why you are where you are in life.
Just start working small, use
solutions instead of distractions and you will get there.
4. You Are A
One-trick Pony
A man came to see a
psychologist and told him: “Doctor, I’m always depressed. I tried everything
but nothing works. Please, help me out.”
The psychologist told him to
stand up and come to the window with him. “You see that tent over there?. That
is the circus and they are really good.
There is this one clown in
particular who is really funny. He makes everyone laugh so hard. You should go
and see him and you won’t have any reason to be depressed.”
The man turned to the
psychologist and said, “Doctor, I am that clown!”
You are not a one-trick pony
but your friends perceive you like that.
You are the funny one that
cracks jokes or the trivia guy who has interesting facts around the water
cooler.
At a certain point, this
becomes who you are, and then, you are scared to show anything else to people
around you.
At some point, it becomes
unbearable and you crack.
To prevent this, you need to
know that it’s okay to show your full personality.
You are not a one-trick pony.
You are a human being with a full range of emotions, character-traits and
personalities that must be shown to the world.
This is the way to confidence.
The other way brings you to the
story of Robin Williams who tragically ended his life, so show yourself fully.
“Always be yourself, express
yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful
personality and duplicate it.” – Bruce Lee
5. You Lack Tears
In Your Eyes
It’s when you are aligned with
emotions – when you respect how you feel – that you are truly free to feel the
freedom of your emotions.
You must love and cherish them
when they occur by shedding happy yet sad tears as well.
When you acknowledge what you
feel and own it to your deepest level, that’s when you’ll feel the biggest
confidence.
Don’t run away from your
emotions, but own them.
Let them go through your body
and mind and acknowledge what’s happening in you.
Feel it.
They are sometimes pleasant and
sometimes not, yet they are yours.
It’s not how you feel, really
that matters that much, it’s how you feel about how you feel.
Until I come your way
again, this is #MorningVibesWithDrJerryTheFirst
Keep it coming!!!
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PS:
This Program is powered by Topitup Media & Communication Nigeria.
This Program is powered by Topitup Media & Communication Nigeria.
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rights Reserved (c) 2018
Adapted From: Addicted 2 Success
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